Dear Doug,

There have been few times as an adult that I really felt like I personally could do something to help out a member of our family. And while my attempts to be helpful to everyone have sometimes been a success and other times backfired, helping you was the hardest thing I believe I’ve ever done for the family.

You see, I never talked Joanne into letting you live with us because I wanted to do something for you. I did it because whether she admits it or not, I wanted to ease the burden I knew our sister was feeling dealing with you.

The apology that you gave Joanne for lying to her and calling me a cheat didn’t really mean anything. And even though because you are my brother, I forgave you back in August, the apology you gave her only came because you wanted something from her. And it wasn’t until you knew you were going to get what you wanted that your half-assed, can’t even look her in the eye apology came.

In November, I sought the help of someone I care dearly about to give you something that again, you didn’t deserve. We build you a website that was beyond all expectations and even promoted the website by announcing our design on various websites. You never contributed, you only continued to take and complain that you have to deal with SPAM… that happens on a forum.

When you moved in Joanne and I’s home, you expected that your opinion would count. But it didn’t because this is our home and there’s no one that will silence us within our home.

During the many conversations that we had I thought for the very first time I saw the real you. Emotion, it was there. I saw your eyes well up as I explained what I had dreamed of in a big brother. As I told you how I always wanted you to be that stereotypical big brother and hurt as it never happened. It was the real you as you explained to me how you saw your own childhood and the prospective of our parents.

I stood, idly by as you slammed our Mother for having problems that are beyond her control. I listened as you believed that all of our Mother’s problems could be cleared up by simply making a list of things she needed to get done.

You have no idea how much she has done to protect you all of these years. She stood up for you, even when you are wrong. She went to bat for you with every single lie that you told your family members, defending you so that we would think better of you. No, you never asked her to do it but she did anyway. She’s a Mother. And while I know your skills as a parent are lacking, to put it mildly, this type of defense is what a good parent does. And Mom, she’s certainly gone unappreciated for many years and this is one thing you could at least show your appreciation.

The views that you are on life are tainted by some ill will you only pretend that you don’t have against our Father. To listen to you speak about him only conveys the ignorance you have for someone that you don’t even know.

My heart aches to hear you call someone a child abuser. It’s even worse for me when you don’t give MY Dad any slack for being human. Was he a perfect Father? No, not by any means but that’s the part of parenting that’s difficult and you’ve cut him no slack for that.

It’s my belief that of all the family members, you’re the last one to sit in judgment of what kind of Father MY Dad is when you have no idea what it means to be a parent. While Dad may have spent many long days and weeks out of town, he did it to support his family of 8. What is your excuse for spending so much time away from your family? You don’t have a good one, you never have.

There was this time in my life when I dreamt of having a big brother to protect me from the awful people in the world. To have someone that stood by my side and defended me, even if I was wrong, like Mom does for you.

I don’t dream of those days any longer because Steve and Cameron have shown me what true brothers really are.

I find it incredibly sad that the only pride you have is displayed by something you only used to be, a solider. And I’ll be the first one to stand up and say that while I used to protest the idea of you going back into the Army, I now believe it to be the best thing. At least if you were gone, our family would no longer carry the burden of their grown brother failing at doing anything for himself.

As for your wife, this relationship is stupid. There’s no meaning in something that has lasted only a month and certainly nothing between two people who have only seen each other face to face for 48 hours and choose to get married.

Her disrespect for my home, my life and my child will forever eliminate her from our lives. Because in the end, she proved just one thing about herself… she’s just the female version of you and if it isn’t obvious thus far, I don’t really care for you.

Katy

This post was written by this blog’s original owner, Katy Castro who you can find blogging at I’m Blogging That!